Dreamers’ Hub

Note: This is Part 4 of the Finding God’s Will Series.

Focus on the Family, a Christian organization which addresses the cultural dilemma in modern day dating, says that in our society, dating has become something of an obsession. It is just something you do if you’re single and of age (and that age is quickly dropping) globally. It is considered the natural precursor to marriage, and is generally considered something to be desired, regardless of the form it might take.

Dating had not only become a modern obsession. Over the years, it had also become big business. I tried to Google the word “dating” and to my amazement I got 246,000,000 search results.

There is a lot of confusion, hurt and sexual sin in modern day dating practices and as responsible believers we are supposed to counter such practices that demean biblical standards. So how do I go about getting to know someone and eventually getting married without getting hurt or compromising my faith?

Joshua Harris, a young pastor and now famous author, has promoted a model of courtship that dates back to a model used broadly before modern dating evolved- the one we find in the Bible and I am quite comfortable with it.

As I have said in my previous posts concerning this subject, we must, as Christians, not conform to the pattern of this world by trying to be distinct in the ways we think and act.

The sad reality is that surveys consistently indicate that professing believers behave almost exactly like non-Christians in terms of sexual involvement outside of marriage. They tend to live together before marriage; they show infidelity and sometimes divorce or separate after marriage.

This issue needs to be confronted because it seems that when it comes to dating and relationships, perhaps more than in any other area of our everyday Christian life, the church is largely indistinguishable from the world. This truth has brought immeasurable emotional pain and other consequences to many Christian families and churches. Worse than that, it has brought great dishonor to the name of Christ and to the witness of individual believers and the church.

As a post script, let me just say that I believe the Bible speaks to every area of our faith and life as a believer (dating and marriage included). Thus, no area of our life falls totally outside of the guidance and authority of God’s Word.

Here then are some portions of the Bible that may be of interest to us regarding this area:

• I Corinthians 6:9-7:19. This is a command to be pure, to consider the seriousness of sexual sin and some instructions regarding marriage.
• I Thessalonians 4:1-8. This tells us to not defraud one another in relationships — by implying a commitment by your words or conduct that does not actually exist.
• Song of Solomon 2:7. This talks about the “perfect time” to fall in love. It tells us to “do not awaken love before it pleases” — that is before the proper time.
• Proverbs 6:20-7:27. This is a warning to avoid sexual sin and foolish relationships.
• James 1:13-15. This admonishes us that all temptation is to be taken very seriously (and dating is prone to many temptations).
• I Timothy 5:1-2. This tells us to treat single women as sisters in Christ, with absolute purity.
• Titus 2:1-8. This teaches young men and women to focus on self-control and godliness.

Joshua Harris is right. The time has come to kiss dating goodbye.

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